Rock Star

At the risk of wearing you all out on my running posts, I'm going to apologize in advance. If you don't like or want to read about running or races, you can leave now, and beware of the next months of posts.

Somehow my friend Anne has become a running fiend. We walked a 5K together last March, and then she ran her first 5K in May. Since then, she's become a running machine. And, she convinced me to sign up and run the Heartland 39.3 Series. A series of three half marathons in the span of six weeks. Then, because that just isn't crazy enough, she also convinced me to run another half marathon in Oklahoma in the middle of all those other ones. Then, because I'm not sure that was enough, I signed up for another half at the beginning of June. See, for the three years leading up to Hospital Hill's anniversary running, they are doing a 3-part medal. I already had the first part, so now I need to run the next two years to complete my medal. Yes, you can tell me I'm crazy. I'm already telling myself that.

So, here's the schedule:

• Rock the Parkway - April 14
• Kansas Half - April 22
• Oklahoma City Half - April 29
• Running with the Cows - May 12
• Hospital Hill - June 2

Clearly, we're past the first date. I ran Rock the Parkway this past weekend. I had a plan for all these races. My goal was to run as hard and as fast as I could on the first one, then, I could take it easy for the rest. And, just have a good time with my girlfriends. Afterall, that's really what I love about running. Well, that and medals. But, the awesome part about half marathons? Every single finisher gets a medal. Score.

Anyway, back to my plan. I started to get nervous about the race because every weatherman this side of the Mississippi was forecasting thunderstorms and hail for Saturday. And, it was supposed to arrive smack during the race time. Now, rain, I'm ok with. Hail and thunderstorms? Not so cool.

I wake up (after a horrible night's sleep thanks to my precious 2-year-old) around 5:15 and get ready to head down to the race. I head out to my pre-kid-running-partner Sarah's car and can already feel the humidity in the air.

(I worry "pre-kid" gives the impression that Sarah ditched me as a running partner after I had kids. That's not true. She just happened to move out of the neighborhood around the same time I had Molly. It's not like she decided I was a drag once I had kids and thought it would just be easier to move than to explain why she didn't want to run with me anymore. At least, I hope that's not what happened. I mean, it was probably just a coincidence, right? Right? I say pre-kid really to differentiate between her and my current running partner. Because after Sarah moved, I discovered another Sarah, who lives on my street and is now my post-kid running partner. Confused? Yeah, I probably should just think of new classifications all around.)

Anyway, as we're driving down the highway, we see lightning in the distance. Uh oh. But, we score great parking and get in and out of the porta-potties in record time, so maybe the good omens are overpowering the bad ones. Short porta-potty lines have to overpower lightning, right?

Sarah and I are hanging out, waiting for the start and I run into several friendly faces. That has to be a good omen, too. I see Alex, who I used to work with, and Katie, my friend and fellow blogger.

Finding Katie before the race. Turns out, she was the long-term sub for Sarah's class when Sarah was on maternity leave. Gotta love the small world we live in!

Kelli, Sarah and I are all planning to run with the 1:55 pace group. So, we grab some pacing wristbands and join up in the corral. The gun goes off and we take off. It really helped to stay with the pace group, because I'm always tempted to start out too fast. It helped to take the adrenaline out of the start and chill back. By mile 3, I'm already soaked with sweat. I honestly can't remember when I've been that sweaty after only 3 miles. I was gross.

Despite being blurry, it is in fact Sarah and me. 

Smiling at my beautiful Molly, decked in princess tiara and shouting "Go Mommy!"

We keep trudging along, up one hill after another. It is so nice to have someone to talk to. I brought my iPod, but I do truly love talking to people more. At one point, Sarah told me that I was welcome to tell her any stories. If I had possessed that ability at that point, I would've. But, the humidity was absolutely killing me. I ate a couple gummies (running energy food - essentially fruit snacks) to try to perk me up around mile 7. By mile 9, I had a killer side stitch. I had to walk for a little to try to stretch out the sharp pain, but tried to continue on. I really wanted to make my goal.

Now, here's where you'll probably really think I'm crazy. While doing some online reading the past week, I ran across the fact that Joey McIntyre (yes, from New Kids on the Block) had run in the Hollywood Half a couple weeks ago. His time? 1:55:27. That became my new goal. My previous goal was to PR. My previous PR was from Hospital Hill 2006. Before kids. I am in better shape and faster than I ever have been, so I was really wanting to PR. But, then, I really wanted to beat Joey McIntyre. I had to get under 1:55:27. Please don't ask my why I had a desire to beat a completely arbitrary time set by a boy band singer I'd crushed on in the 6th grade. I don't know. I'm weird like that.

'Laff'ing all the way home

The writer of this blog actually had an evening out on the town with the hubby this weekend! We went to dinner and a comedy club to see the favorite comedian of one of our friends. I was excited to get out and put on make-up and jewelry. There were several of us going, so we could have lots of adult conversations. I was looking forward to enjoying a lot of 'laff's.

Well, something happened along the way.

I discovered that a lot of comedy is subject to taste. I've known this, really, all along, but it was quite apparent last night. And, apparently, my taste is not so much meshing with that of Jim Jefferies. He's an Australian comic whose jokes were, to me, fairly vulgar, profane and offensive. Curt (who convinced us all to go to the show) swears that he didn't know that Jefferies was quite as out there as he was. He'd never seen him in person before. (And, no, Curt, I'm not mad at you!) The one thing that was funny was how we all agreed that he'd have been even worse if not for the accent. It's amazing how almost anything can sound better with an accent. Almost anything. Even his accent didn't save his comedy for me.

Apparently, my tastes run more to the Ellen DeGeneres/Modern Family/The Middle style of comedy -- funny, clean, daily life observational. And, I'm not ashamed to admit it. Perhaps that's why I think the things in my own life are so funny. Usually they are about my kids or friends, neither of which are particularly vulgar or profane. (I guess this should be fairly obvious to me considering the title of my own blog.) So, to clean my mind from the comedy show, I decided to put together a list of the funny, clean, daily life observational things I found recently from my own life. I know I'm not a comedian, and you might not think my tidbits are funny at all, but that's ok, 'cause we all have our own tastes. Maybe you would enjoy Jefferies. Some people must; he's clearly doing well for himself.

So, here we go:

• Molly telling the babysitter (my friend Katie and fellow blogger) that she had gotten married to Connor because he gave her flowers. Apparently, that's all it takes to win my 3-year-old's heart. Flowers. Although, to be fair, her mom also loves flowers (hint, hint, hubby ... ). Katie's fiance was amazed that was all it took. I guess he put in more effort wooing Katie. Silly Brandon, he should've known.
• Charlotte has started copying all things Molly. The latest -- saying "YUM" while eating. Ok, this doesn't sound as funny on paper (screen?), but it's really funny in person.
• Molly waking up from her nap the other day and proclaiming, "I am getting old, Mommy. My muscles are tired; I think I need to rest some more." I'm sure she never heard that from me while I was training for my marathon.
• Our friends Tara and Pawan's son Kevi.  Kevi: I saw a reindeer last night. Pawan: Really? Do you like reindeer? Kevi: Naah! I only like clouddeer. That Kevi cracks me up.
• Molly finding my bra, putting it on and prancing around the bedroom. I didn't take pictures because, well, I was laughing too hard, but trust me, it was hysterical. She also proclaimed she wanted a bra and swim panties to go to the pool. "A bikini?" I asked. "Yes!" she said. "Not happening," daddy said.
• Molly watching this video of herself and laughing manically at her baby self.

• Molly and Charlotte dancing head-banging in the car. Warning: the video was taken in a moving car, so the quality isn't great, but you can still get the general idea.

• And, this last picture is just one of my favorite Molly pictures of all time because it makes me laugh every single time I see it. 

Not quite 2, and clearly exhausted from a baby marathon.  Maybe that's why her muscles were so tired.

So, there you have it. I know I'm no Ellen, but now that you have my list, what/who is it you find funny?